Friday, 7 June 2013

Silence

Having recently celebrated our Silver Wedding Anniversary, I would say that 99.9% of the time, the Green Man and I have a great relationship, based on love, trust and communication. But every now and again something happens (and believe me I have absolutely no clue as to what it is) to make him go all quiet on me. I've tried, in the past, to wheedle out of him what the problem is, but to no avail, and his only response is to stomp off to his "cave" and be alone until he recovers his ?? whatever it is that he's lost!

This happened a few days ago, and even after all this time it really upsets me when he blanks me  - I know it shouldn't, because he always works his way through it and if I can just be patient everything returns to normal. But for some reason, this particular morning I found it difficult to handle, and I was really upset, not knowing if I had inadvertently upset him, or if it was something completely nothing to do with me what-so-ever, his silence cut me to the bone.

I decided to spend some time blog-hopping to try to lift my mood. I couldn't tell you how it happened, I just read a couple of blogs, followed a couple of links, and suddenly I found myself reading a blog written by a young mum, with 4 young children and a husband who had been brain-damaged in a surfing accident. She was left with a blind husband who was completely unable to communicate and who spent most of the day crying. She had fought hard to be allowed to have him living at home with her and the children, only to find that instead of helping him, it seemed to make him worse, and she was seriously contemplating sending him back into full-time care so that she could raise her children without them having to witness his despair, and without the constant worry of also having to cope with his complete and utter lack of communication.

Boy, was I humbled.

From now on, whenever GM feels the need to cut off and hide in his cave I shall let him go without question, leave him in peace until he is ready to emerge, and thank my lucky stars that his non-communication is only a very short temporary glitch, and that when he is ready to return, everything is back to normal.

5 comments:

karen said...

I can understand you being hurt by GM's silence. But one thing I always say to myself when I feel that way over things like that and that is "there is always someone worse off than yourself" and you have just proved it in your case. Keep that cheery chin up Joy :).xx

Wally Mummy said...

sometimes we all need a little perspective I reckon x congrats on your wedding anniversary though! xx

Chrissys4Cards said...

I usually get the moody pinched face look and one syllable answers and normally over something stupid. The latest was the price of a new kitchen. He would not discuss it just said no and went off into one of his moody silences. I normally walk away and go upstairs crafting or play with my new ipad ( I love this toy especially for moments like this). I have to wait till his lord and master gets over his problem. The kitchen was discussed. The following morning and we went back to the store to renegotiate a more affordable price. So why the moody which put me in a real downer in the first place. After 40 yrs like you Joy I love him to bits but oh boy sometimes I could slap his chops.

Kat Pearce said...

Happy anniversary to you both!

I think I have read about the family you mentioned. Such a tough situation and yes it does make us more grateful for what we have xxx

dancingonabladeofgrass said...

Congratulations on your Silver Wedding Anniversary!

I know those silences only too well and find them hard to fathom when a mere - 'I just need to have a bit of space' would explain the situation.

I hadn't experienced them until I met my current OH so am assuming it's an age-related phenomenon!

I still find it weird though.