Tuesday, 22 November 2016

A conversation with myself

So, Mrs. S. now that you are just about ready to sign the purchase contract, please can you tell us the attraction of the house you're buying.

Is it the spaciousness? Well, actually no, it's quite a lot smaller than the one we have, it will be a struggle to fit everything in.

Is it the wonderfully modern kitchen? Well, actually no, the kitchen is mediocre and in poor condition so would need a total replan and refit.

How about the other internal features then? Well, no actually, the bathroom is small and quite grubby, the downstairs loo likewise, and it lacks a utility room.

Well then, maybe it's the garden? The garden is OK, but it's on a slope and is a bit of a mess.

The house must be attractive to the eye, or be in a good position? It is a very ordinary 70s built semi, and it is exactly where we want to live - midway between the Surrey families and the Wiltshire families - but that's not it.

Must be the price? No, it's probably overpriced for what it is.

Alright then, what is the attraction? It's the location, right on the edge of town, overlooking open countryside for miles.

So, what if I were to tell you that, although the vendor's agent and the vendor's mother-in-law denied all knowledge of such a thing, there is an outline planning application to build 202 houses in the field adjoining the back fence?

OH SH*T!!!!!

6 comments:

Jean said...

Oh Joy, that is hilarious! You've made the right decision though

JoAnn ( Scene Through My Eyes) said...

Just awful - hope you find what you are looking for.

Clare Josa said...

Wow! They broke the law in not telling you. Thank goodness you found out before you signed. Had it not shown up in the preliminary Council searches? x

Sandie said...

Oh Joy, I don't know whether to laugh or cry for you! Hope it all turns out alright. We never know what life has in store, fingers crossed this is part of a bigger and better plan xx

Barbara said...

Goodness Joy, I hope the view in the other direction will still be wonderful.

Kezzie said...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
We've just had an offer accepted on a house and I am terribly worried we've made a bad decision. I LIKE the house, it is in good condition, it is in a good place in town, not too far from the High Street, 13 mins walk to the station BUT it is 2 bedrooms rather than 3, quite expensive for that and the two bedrooms aren't very large- doubles but not huge. It is a 1903 house so I am worried about repairs and problems but we do like it! AHRGH!!