The Holm Oak

The first time I ever heard of or came across the Holm Oak was in the grounds of Cardiff Castle in March 2018, when I saw this magnificent specimen

Fast forward slightly less than a year, and I was lucky enough to have a meet-up with these three lovely ladies, Elizabeth, Alison and Nikki-Marianna.

Nikki-Marianna had a bagful of Holm Oak acorns, and here is her story.

I bought the holm oak nuts from a market trader in Essaouira, Morocco in January 2019, from a barrow similar to this. 




Why did I buy them - because I couldn't identify what they were!!! I knew they were a nut of some sort, but they were far too elongated to be an acorn although the colour was right. I took them back to the hotel and asked the receptionist what they were, in my best French/Spanish/English mix with lots of hand gestures, as he did not speak English, though he is learning English and wishes to teach it one day. Eventually with the intermittent help of Google translate (wifi signal was not good!) he found the translation of Holm Oak. He demonstrated to me that you can peel and eat them raw, they were very hard and slightly bitter in taste. He told me that the Moroccans boil and mash the nuts / acorns and eat them as a vegetable. 

I mislaid the bag that I put the acorns in and only found them again at the bottom of my suitcase after I returned to the uk. and never got around to cooking them! Instead I planned on planting them in a local woodland and when we had a Silver Sister Hampshire Meetup at the beginning of March, I took a few of the acorns with me to show my sisters. Each of them chose to take an acorn home. 

So, I took my acorn home with me and planted it (this before I covered it with soil).

That was just under three months ago, and here it is now (along with another "ordinary" oak sapling from an acorn collected in Theydon Bois, and 4 fig tree cuttings from my garden).

Thank you Nikki-Marianna for the acorn and the history of how you came about it. From now on I'll post monthly updates towards the end of each month.

THE MEETING

Possibly the most emotional thing that I have ever been a part of. But, how to describe the emotion. An electrical charge? A chemical reaction? A physical change in body function? I don't know. All I know is that the emotion was far too strong for me to ever do it justice with words.

So, the meeting took place. It was carefully choreographed by both parties so that although we each had our partners for support, when we actually met for the first time we were alone together. We hugged, I cried, I think he did too. I had already seen a photograph of him on Facebook, in which he resembled my father, but when I saw him in the flesh he more resembled his own father. We spent 10 or 15 minutes together just walking through a quiet wooded area while he asked me a few questions, and then we joined our partners for a pub meal. It was that simple. And yet so profound.

And now we have the rest of our lives to rebuild the relationship that was shattered 53 years ago by my parents, who acted in accordance with "the way things are", and who could never have foreseen the heartbreak they caused us to live with all this time - me wondering if (hoping) he was loved and happy, and he thinking I'd given him away because I didn't want him.

I am proud to say he is my son, my oldest son. I never had a chance to be his mum, someone else was given that honour. But I have loved him, totally and unconditionally, for all that time. Only a tiny handful of people knew about him, initially my parents, my sister, my very best friend and the aunt and uncle that I stayed with, then later each of my husbands, two of his half-brothers and, more recently, one of my cousins. But now the whole world can know - and now I am completely fulfilled, happier than I have been since 1966.

THE LETTER

GM and I have always celebrated 3rd Feb as our Valentines day, as that's the day we first got together as a couple, many years ago. So, for us, 14th Feb has always been just a normal day - but not any more!

This year it was a Thursday. Our post comes quite late in the day, and on this particular day one letter popped through the letter box at roughly 2pm - I remember because I was lying on the sofa intending to have a short nap. "It's for you" GM said, handing me a white, hand-written envelope with a BP logo in the top left-hand corner. The return address was not one I recognised so I had absolutely no idea of the significance of this quite ordinary correspondence.

As GM took himself off into the kitchen I opened the letter, and read the first two sentences. All of a sudden my whole life changed. I can’t even begin to describe the emotions that I felt, it was so enormous, I was completely overwhelmed. Before I read further I must have called out because next thing I knew GM and I were both in the hallway, me with tears running down my face. "What is it?" he asked, concerned for my tears. I handed him the letter, he also read the first two sentences and then we were  holding each other very, very tightly, both of us with tears running down our faces. I can’t remember how long we stayed like that – it could have been a few seconds, or a few minutes, time stood still, until it occurred to me that I hadn’t even finished reading the letter. This letter changed my life. It contained news for which I had been waiting for over 50 years. Happy, happy news. I read the rest of the letter, I read it again, then again, and then again, not able to stop the flow of tears. I really, really cannot remember much about the rest of the day, all I can remember thinking, several times, was that outside of our house the world was still turning and people were going about their normal everyday stuff, but how could this be? The world is now a totally different place, I am living a totally different life, everything is suddenly so wonderful and I am so, so happy I could literally burst. (I feel I must add in here that my life isn't bad anyway, I am incredibly fortunate, but this was just something extra that was huge.)

Later in the day, with shaking hands, I scribbled off an initial reply – it was far too important not to reply immediately, and thankfully the sender had included two stamped self-addressed envelopes. I continued in an emotional daze for the next couple days before reality kicked in. I knew that several other people needed to be told this news, so plans were made for an initial trip to Wiltshire on the Sunday with GM and then a trip to Surrey and Kent on my own during the week, which luckily was half-term week so I was able to double up and spend a few precious hours with each of my GDs. I was nervous, but needn’t have been, everyone I told was incredibly positive and supportive, and when I arrived back home at the end of the week I was able to compose a more detailed response, which included my email address, and which went in the post on the Saturday, just 9 days after receipt of the initial letter.

Life got back to normal with a bump after the weekend when I had my three days of GD5 minding, so all my energies were directed towards her and her needs. It was on my return home on the Wednesday afternoon that I received the email in response to my second letter, containing details that had previously been withheld - another incredibly emotional moment. As it happened, FO and CH had given us a bottle of champagne for Christmas (thanks both x x), which GM had decided to chill, so that evening we shared it over tea, to celebrate our amazing, wonderful news. 

So, although now, after three weeks, I have got used to the news, my life has changed and will never be the same again. A hole in my heart that I have walked around with for such a long, long time has been filled, I am still super-charged with emotion and tears are still very close to the surface, but two-way communication by email is now regular and we look forward to the next stage of this incredible journey in a couple of weeks time.

So, Valentine's Day, February 14th 2019 is a day I shall remember for as long as I live.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

For those of you reading this who already know the contents of the letter, I would be most grateful if you would refrain from commenting as there are still members of my extended family who need to hear this news directly from me.

Gratitude Days 3 and 4 : Trip to Devon/Cornwall

A couple of weeks ago I was fortunate enough to have a few free days to nip down to Devon to stay with my cousin, who lives in the middle of nowhere (seems like that anyway).

On the second day of my trip I met up with this awesome bunch of Silver Sisters. I am so grateful to have these lovely ladies in my life.

Top row l to r Christina, Carol, Mary, Vanessa, Joy. Seated l to r Pamela, Jeanette.

On the third day of my visit we took a quick trip across the county border into Cornwall and had a walk along the beach at Widemouth Bay before visiting a fabric shop and then having a pub lunch in Bude. Huge thanks dear Glen, I am extremely grateful to be related to such a kind and generous lady.

Isn't mother nature wonderful!

Gratitude Day 2 : The Wedding

Not long ago, one of my sons (GO) and his partner (EG) got hitched.

Their wedding was one of the happiest days I can ever remember. Everyone, but everyone, who shared their day with them was happy, friendly, loving, joyous. Not much more to say really, except that I am extremely grateful to have been a small part of such a happy day for a lovely couple.

Gratutude Day 1 : Everyone has their own story

Please excuse the fuzziness of this image, taken on my phone in poor light.

Yesterday I travelled to Bristol to meet with these two inspirational ladies, both of whom have incredible stories to tell, which I won't say anything about here as they are not my stories to tell, but both had a profound impact on me and made me realize how extremely fortunate I am.

You would walk past these ladies in the street, there is nothing visibly remarkable about either to make them stand apart from the rest of us, which also makes me think that probably everyone else that we meet or even just see in the distance most likely also has their own story.

I've reached the grand old age of 70 without ever having been in a position of being half a planet away from loved ones, and I've never had to cope with a serious illness. For both of those things I am extremely grateful.