Friday, 16 December 2011

Last minute Christmas cake

I copied this from my friend Eileen, over at In my Playroom, I urge you to read the "recipe" even if you have no intention of making the cake.


* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat. Go to Waitrose and buy cake.

Bingle Jells!


karen said...

Love this, especially as I am about to do mine (first one got eaten!!!) x

Rachael said...

Excellent! Best laugh I've had a in a long time.

Elaine said...

LOL Brilliant :)

Sian said...

Lol! Yep, that just about describes my Christmas cake making too!

Jean said...

I am not making a Christmas cake Joy. Just plan to drink the wine, saves on washing up!

Chrissys4Cards said...

Brilliant - what a laugh - almost peed me pants!!

Grandma Barb's This and That said...

Very cute! I think I will just get right to drinking the wine and not bother with all the other ingredients.

Vic at Blossom and Snowflakes said...

That sounds like the sort of cake I need to make right now!